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We have to find a job that fits, otherwise we feel wrongly filled. We need a partner who suits us so that we feel seen and understood. We need a lifestyle that fits or we will always feel like outsiders.
We know deep down what suits us. Sometimes we try to pretend that an incompatible career / love / life is a perfect fit because our brain or ego wants to veto our hearts.
You can’t force a good fit.
That’s exactly what I did when I got a new Pomeranian puppy named Winston. He was smart, sassy, and absolutely beautiful. Its black and white color reminded me of my beloved Pomapoo, Kita, which passed over to the Rainbow Bridge in 2019. Unfortunately, Winston was ill-suited to a quiet home without children.
I played with him, took him to dog day care, and took him to training, but he got more and more hyperactive and destructive. I tried everything but couldn’t get him to stop peeing on the carpet. Eventually I decided that it was better for him to live in a house where his personality was more like that of its owners.
He was taken in with a carefully screened family who had children (Winston LOVES children), a huge garden, and a very active lifestyle. It was heartbreaking, but after all, he’s much happier in his new, real home.
My heart had felt empty for months when I discovered a cute little Lhasa and Bichon mix called Wally on a dog rescue website a few weeks ago. I was immediately drawn to his large, beautiful, chocolate brown eyes. They sparkled with intelligence, sweetness, and just a touch of sadness.
“Wally” suits me well. Tammy Swift / The Forum
He was a short guy – only 13 pounds – with adorable floppy ears and curly cream-colored fur with a pale ginger tinge.
But what really drew me to my heart was his “before” picture. His hair was messed up and so overgrown that his eyes were completely covered. The snow groomers said his hair was knotted to the skin.
I wondered about him. His caregiver described him as the cutest, most loving little soul. What happens in people’s lives that they can no longer take care of such a great dog?
I realize that life can be difficult and complicated. Especially last year. I wondered what he had seen in his nine years on the planet. Obviously some of it had been good as he liked people, was in good health, and had no behavioral problems.
When we met and greeted each other, Wally’s past didn’t seem to haunt him. After a few careful wagging of his tail, he snuggled right up to my friend. He decided to trust us. But that’s the beauty of dogs. They trust even if they have little reason to.
Of course we had to adopt him. As described, Wally has a sweet, mild temper and is still in excellent health. As a couch potato it is very promising. He seems a little surprised by the attention he has been given, the gifts and bones that have been presented to him, and the fact that he can sleep on someone’s bed.
He tucks himself right behind my knees when I sleep, like Kita once did. The first time he did this, I cried a little.
Wally has the excellent manners of an elderly statesman, never chewing things beyond his own bones, and keeping the living room carpet as dry as the Gobi Desert. Strangely enough, he seems unaware of some of the basic commands of obedience, such as “sit” and “stay”. When I go for a walk with him, he pulls like he’s trying to win the Iditarod. It’s like he’s never been outside. He is making a heroic effort to mark every tree and fence post within 10 blocks of my home.
But he’s incredibly smart and soon takes on commands like “outside”, “potty”, “hungry”, “walk”, “home” and “ride”. Thankfully, he’s very food-motivated, which makes it easy to bribe him to obey orders with a tiny piece of cheese.
He lives and hugs the incredible rewards of adopting an older dog.
Wally isn’t perfect for everyone, but he’s perfect for me.
It just fits.
Swift can be contacted at email@example.com.