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Surname: Fat cats.
Age: Probably no more than 10 years old as they tend to die young.
Look: Fat.
Sure you mean wonderfully cozy. Oh, then who is a handsome boy? Turn around and let me tickle your stomach. Don’t be so ridiculous. That’s exactly the kind of attitude that KILLING CATS is.
What Are you in? The internet is now full of pictures of fat cats that their owners find adorable but are actually health disasters that can barely fit through a cat flap, let alone jump on a ledge. In fact, they only jump when their owner fills their food bowl.
The cat sat … Photo: Benoit Daoust / Alamy Stock Photo
That’s not ideal. In any case, flabby cats should not be encouraged, as unfortunately Instagram accounts like Round Boys and Round Animals do with their hundreds of thousands of followers.
And who makes so much of a fuss about meaty moggies? The pet food company Purina, part of Nestlé, seems to have got this ball rolling.
This is strange – You would think Such companies want to sell as much pet food as possible. Fat cat capitalism. Quality, not quantity, is Purina’s mantra. Libby Sheridan, Veterinary Technical Manager at Purina UK and Ireland, says cat owners have a “skewed perception” of what constitutes a healthy weight. “People think their pets should be cozy,” she says. But cuddling can be fatal! “It’s a problem with cats especially,” says Sheridan.
Why? The fat finger of guilt is firmly set on the internet craze for posting pictures of limp tabbies. Not only Round Boys on Instagram, but also the Facebook group This Cat Is Chonky, which is dedicated to the larger cat and has more than 850,000 members since its start in May 2018.
Poor Tom … a red American wirehaired pointer. Photo: Maria Fedotova / Getty Images
Chonky? Internet language for chunky. The “Chonk Scale” became a meme in 2018, with “Chonkness” measured on a BMI table ranging from “A fine boi” to “OH LAWD HE COMIN”.
Sounds funny. In fact, the rule of one of the chonk clubs is, “No chonk shame.” But the new pet puritans believe that shame on pets (and owners) is okay now.
Brutally. Any exceptions? Fat cats on a diet are probably fine. A cat named Bronson has amassed 267,000 followers on Instagram since his owners Megan Hanneman and Mike Wilson brought him home from a Michigan cat house almost three years ago when he weighed 15 kg. They recorded his weight loss online and he’s now only half the cat he was. “A big cat on a diet is a guilt-free way to follow an obese cat,” says Wilson. Cat porn with a purpose.
Not to be confused with: The pictures of fat dogs, penguins, seals and hedgehogs, which are also available in abundance online.
Tabby stomach problems … Photo: Nikki O’Keefe Images / Getty Images
Say: “Come on, Kitty, time for your lesson on the treadmill.”
Do not say: “Purrfect!”