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LOVE ABBY: I am a cat (and dog) lover and savior. I saved a beautiful and loving cat with terrible wounds on its neck. I had him neutered, his wounds cleaned and sewn, and bandaged. I asked my older neighbor if she wanted him. She said she would think about it. She visited him at my house when his wounds were healing, and a few months later she took the cat away.
When I visited her a few months later, I saw that she was feeding him so many goodies that he was (I’m not exaggerating) morbidly obese. When I told her, she was offended. She didn’t believe me, so she took the cat to the local vet for a check-up.
The vet told her the same thing in no uncertain terms and did not feed the cat any treats or some low-fat dry cat food. With my help she ordered the food and I measured it in bags to make it easier for her as she is a little confused.
I weigh the cat every Monday and it has already lost some weight. Slow is the best way. But working with her is not pleasant and she fights me all the time. I am a patient person and I do my best, but sometimes it is hard not to lose my temper. Any suggestions? – Takes care of fur babies
LOVE CARE: Unfortunately, we don’t always get to know humans until we see them in action, as you do now with this neighbor. For the sake of this cat, hold on to your temperament and help her and her fur baby. As she becomes more and more confused, it is important that someone keep an eye on not only the cat in the household, but them too – so they can take care of themselves.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I divorced five years ago. We have four grown children. He wanted to sell the house, but I eventually bought it out because two of our children still lived at home.
Fast forward to now: We are expecting our third grandchild. He doesn’t want to be with me since the divorce. He keeps saying that we are no longer family. The holidays and main events are now celebrated separately. I’m always sadder about that. He refuses to be polite to me. He is a racist and I happen to have a friend of another race who now lives with me.
His attitude affects our children, especially those who still live with me. I want to be able to share the joy of our new grandchildren and the successes of our children and also the dilemmas, but I cannot. Should I confront him? Or should I just consider him “dead”? – SOMEONE IS MISSING IN MASSACHUSETTS
LOVE SOMEONE MISSING: I seriously doubt it “confront” Your ex-husband will be fine. You are a loving, enthusiastic parent, and you don’t need your ex’s negative attitudes to dampen your happiness.
Keep hosting these celebratory events and invite your ex out if you want. However, due to his racism, don’t expect him to show up. That’s a good thing all in all. Keep doing it on the positive and you and your children will all be happier.
EDITORS NOTE: Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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